How do you come before your husbands mother?

My husband and I have been together for 5 years, married for one. Every since the day we met, his mother has come first. Even when i was in the hospital having our daughter, she called because she needed a ride to work and he left me in labor to go give her a ride to work. Just recently he moved out of our home because she said that she feels that he cannot excel inlife with me and if he leaves, she will make sure he never has to work and she will not only buy him a new wardrobe but keep money in his pocket all the time and he doestn have to worry about anything. My husband does not and never did work (please no smart comments either). I was always the breadwinner and because i expect him to get a job and constantly get on his about it, she calls me a bad wife. Because I stopped giving him money for haircuts and new clothes, i became the bad unsupportive wife. If soemthing comes along that he wants to do, he will run it byher first and if she says she doesnt want him to do it he wont. She even went as far as convincing him that our daughter isnt his. It took a paternity test to show them both that she was his. So today he got money from his cousin. I asked him to come up to our house to talk about our marriage and also if he could buy our 3 month old a hat for the winter because Im having a hard time finding one. he said that he needed to save the money for this military test that he wants to take and that he cant spend a dime of it because nothing or noone comes before or is more important then him taking this test. So he calls me about 3 hours later and tells me that he just got back from the store buying his mom cigarettes and a cheesesteak that she wanted. I flipped on him and said that he told me that he couldnt buy his own daughter a winter hat and not even she came before his test but his mother and her cigarettes and her cheesesteak do? he said yes, my mother comes before anything and anyone and if you cant handle it then divorce me because you will never come before her. Not even our daughter will come before her. Now ilove my husband, this is all we fight about. Is this a lost cause or should I continue to fight to save my marriage? if so how the hell do i come first over his mother???